I had my first* run-in with the law yesterday when I had to go report to jury duty at Suffolk County Superior Court. Unlike Liz who recently got to sit on a cool criminal case involving illegal machine guns, I was being considered for a civil case involving some oldish guy who fell in the parking lot of a bar in 2005. Booooo-ring. "Do you feel there are too many frivolous personal injury lawsuits" was one of the questions they asked everyone to consider in order to determine who was impartial. I was thinking that if a lawsuit is truly frivolous, isn't one too many? In any case, I had a high enough number that I was never even subjected to the thumbs up or down process from the judge or attorneys. The plaintiff's counsel was the stereotypical slimy lawyer, all cheap suit and jowls and thin mustache and thinning, slicked-back hair.
The day wasn't a total waste, however. They had a nice display in waiting room showing famous cases that had taken place in MA. I knew about Lizzie Borden, the "Trial of the Century" which took place in New Bedford in 1893. According to wikipedia, Lizzie was acquitted based on the fact that no murder weapon was found and no blood evidence was noted just a few minutes after the second murder. But in truth, she was convicted of delivering 39 and 40 whacks, respectively, but since the 40th and 41st were determined to have caused the deaths of her father and mother, respectively, she was acquitted. Interestingly, there was substantial fingerprint evidence at the scene which would have removed any doubt as to Liz's innocence or guilt, but the judge didn't believe fingerprint evidence was reliable.
I didn't know that the Sacco and Vanzetti crime/trial was held in Dedham, MA, otherwise known as the city where we go to Costco. It was a pretty interesting trial; I'd forgotten most of the ins and outs of the case that we learned about in school.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacco_and_Vanzetti
After my long, three hour day watching the sausage of justice get made I met Liz for a really good steak sandwich that had blue cheese baked right into the bread. Now there's a precedent I can get behind.
* Not including:
Speeding, disfiguring card board cutouts for the purpose of scaring the crap out of Anoka cinema employees after hours (never charged, also acquitted on the secondary charge of accessory to school jeans ruining), failure to affix a tag to a legally obtained deer (convicted), suing a landlord for damage deposit (successfully), answering the door when the cops show up at parties (apparently not a crime if you're not a jerk to them), accessory to driving a mini-van into a fireworks storage facility (I was acquitted but my co-defendant was not. I believe that one went all the way to the Kansas supreme court), parking sticker fraud, misrepresenting a fraternity as a debate club for the purpose of fooling an innkeeper, and being in a dorm room in which alcohol was present (the last three were handled by the Gustavus Judiciary Board and I and my co-defendants were exonerated on all counts).
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